New Perspectives

How Tight Are Those Parameters of Difficulty?

The notion that difficulty is a good enough deterrent to living the life we deserve is self-defeating.

Running away from difficulty

How long can you keep on running away from the difficult and into the easy? All your life? Perhaps.

Will you get insanely good at it that you don’t recognize you’re doing it? Yes. Will life ever be challenging but not on your terms? No.

I’m one to talk when things get difficult my gut instinct is to bail, disappear, escape and find a way out of the situation and into the next; I’m the nearest exit kind of person, I’m the one who pays attention in the plane to the flight attendants as they tell us how to escape if we must. I consider my exit strategy one of my most reliable life skills. Or so I thought.

Turns out, this is a recipe for disastrous anxiety that seeps into the core of every belief in my body. We wire ourselves to always be on the lookout for things to go wrong, and how we could react to that, we are essentially telling ourselves that we will never be good enough or strong enough to face adversity. We are over calculating risk and undermining ourselves and what we can actually handle. The realization feels like a sick punch in the gut, but it does help open one’s eyes to what wimping out on life actually does to you.

The result of wimping out when things get hard

It makes you your very worst enemy.

People don’t need to see it or get it, you do though. What becomes of us when we keep on running away? Something happens when we choose to walk away from difficulty for no logical or viable reasoning but fear, and a preference for the easier. What kind of message are we sending to ourselves?

Let me tell you, the message becomes loud and clear. “You cannot do it” becomes the motto that you proudly parade on the back of your leather jacket while playing down the immensity of the energy you put into exiting. At times it’s actually a lot more valuable to stand your ground and face adversity. You might surprise yourself at how impressive your ability to be slapped by life is and how glorious it is to get up after it.

If I think back to all the things I’ve faced off with, I’d say I’ve done a pretty decent job at not crumbling under seemingly high-risk difficulties. Why not give ourselves some credit where it is deserved? The notion that difficulty is a good enough deterrent to living the life we deserve is self-defeating. It is hiding behind a one-dimensional opinion of ultimate weakness and fragility with no space for courage or wit.

What kind of life would we then be able to have if those were the parameters for all our actions?

The next time you have a face off with a difficult or scary situation, give yourself a little pat on the back and a nice treat for standing your ground. Bravery begins from fear, wit is created from acceptance and experience and with the proper mindset and training, we can all find the little warrior within that comes out to play when the world decides that it’s our turn now to thicken that ultra soft skin.

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