advice Love

Where is Your Love House located? Passion Street or Dead Street?

You see, the difference between the passionate crazy love that we experience in the initial stages of our romantic relationships and the love that loses the heat but remains soft and sweet is US.

Are you seeing someone? Do you have a person you like to hold a little bit longer? Do they give you reasons to wake up in the morning and help you through the dark of the night? We all love LOVE, and I’ve discussed that before in my “How bad are you at love” post. Love grows and flourishes and you glide through it, until you hit a wall, one that was being built every time you lied, or every time they told you that they were a little tired for that talk yet again. And then you look up and more walls surround you. What now?

You find yourself wanting to break out of the hug a little sooner, and you fall through the darkness of the night all by yourself wondering where you had gone wrong. The dark intensifies and your heart beats faster wanting to find the answer, and run back into comfort’s loving arms.

Who doesn’t want it all? Who refuses the joys and blissful moments that life sends our way? Nobody. I agree.

So why do we put conditions over the mundane, over the ordinariness of life? Why do we become so strange around love that has become normal and underwhelming? You see, the difference between the passionate crazy love that we experience in the initial stages of our romantic relationships and the love that loses the heat but remains soft and sweet is US. We simply stopped looking at our partners with new eyes. We have grown accustomed to their faces and their bodies, their minds and their dreams. And many times, when our eyes get bored, our brains go into overdrive and into a self correcting process that wants to shut down the system, restart and refresh. We become so caught up in the “loss of love” and we forget to wash our eyes and look again at our lives and at our loves and really see them for what they are; structures of our own construction. The life and the love we build are like a house, one that we get to live in as long as we want. And if we don’t remember that we were the original builders, we will think that we can no longer get out, or that we can no longer fix the broken roof we are living under.

We start getting weak, we invite people to look at our broken houses, asking them if they think they could or should be fixed. We ask them if they would live in such a house; as though we have no responsibility for the damage; as though it was done unto us. What we could do instead is admit that the walls are moldy and check if we can fix it together.

We all get to see love from one angle or the other. We can only really immerse ourselves in it when we recognize our signatures over the walls and the paths into each others lives.

This post really is about telling you my dearest friend, that love grows and changes, and we cannot expect it to stay in the same house we built it in the beginning. We can get creative, and outspoken, we can break all the walls and recreate the space we share; we can do so much before we walk away. And if we must walk away, then we better know really well that love is inside us to begin with; if our house is empty of love, then maybe we are empty.

So let’s feed ourselves all the love and the beauty and the sex; let’s read, travel and meditate on the incredible way life treats us. But let’s also not forget that we are the builders, the movers, and the shakers of every relationship we have; be it with family, friends or lovers. Love lives inside of us and the bigger it is, the free-er we should allow it to be, then we can give more, and there will be less walls surrounding us.

Love doesn’t diminish with time, but we definitely change; so we must let love change with us and transform.

Until next time,

Be the love ❤

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