Pain Place

3 Oct

It seems I have gathered myself here again. A white reflection with brightness reduced to the least to remain easy on the eyes. This time I come here in silence, I open this space and it feels soft and familiar. Soft, that’s definitely the right description. I have some pains but not many and for that I am grateful. I have many blessings and not a few and for that I am also grateful. 

But in this softness, I have come to rest my pains, look at them recognize them and acknowledge them. They are heavy and rough on the edges, I know them because they are mine. I look around and I try not to get weighed down, I try not to get too comfortable because all this space is too welcoming of my sweet destruction along with that of all my pains. 

I start laying them down, they are numerous and scary, and I really want to be a coward right now. They glare and they shake me, my skin sweats and I stay. I get pushed, I get howled at, I get clawed and bitten. Words become nastier and insults become harsher. I stay and I continue laying them down. 

I know my way, I have an exit strategy. I am occupying a space, but I am dominating it. I am doing everything I could. And these pains will not break me tonight. I can see through their violence, and I can tell myself one thing: 

You are okay. Tomorrow will see you better and brighter. 

I Let go and Exit that space.

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