Introspection at its best!

1 Mar

So i tap here to begin writing…so many things on my mind and out of it. I never seem to be able to rest my mind or my self.
This introspection doesnt seem to get me anywhere, no answers to my questions. Well i guess it is normal to be confused but to what extent?
I do not write here in the effort or hope for someones answers, it is just good to know where you are sometimes, and what you are.
I realise i have not yet found my calling, well do we ever? What is a calling anyway? You feel happy and you reach a sense of satisfaction for doing whatever it is you are called upon to do or be. My calling if i may claim the simplicity of it, is this. I feel good when i write when i listen to good music, and read a good book, maybe even hear out some interesting ideas. Too much of an arrogant intellectual?..well; why not..
But then again i like my femininity, affection and emotion; what does that make of me? A feminine, emotional, wrecked, confused, arrogant intellectual. Seems alluring!
Well what better way to self indulgence than projecting myself onto this blog here. Not that my readers are bouncing off the charts in numbers, but still, i express myself through a technological channel rather than a sad paper and worn out pen.
I think i have changed. Quite alot in my university years. I am still getting accustomed to this altered preview of who i will live my life as.
I suppose with all the confusion, the drama, the self pitty and then again love of self, i might be getting closer to tolerating myself. Atleast, enough to someday being able to reach a non sarcastic definition of who i am.

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